“Everyone is still hurt that you would leave us all and put yourself at risk while we guess every day whether you’re alright or not. It makes it very, very difficult as a Mom to watch all her children go through the heartache as well as my own…The thought of never seeing you again or holding you again, has broken my heart in pieces. I guess you’ll never understand because you’ll never be a mother,” said A Mother of ISIS
You Complain, You’ve been born unlucky in an average or a poor family, where the parent can’t satisfy you with the modern materials as the rich one.
You Complain, You’ve born not smart enough to compete.
You Complain, You’re not beautiful enough or don’t have a personality that attract other people.
You Complain, You have so many school work to deal with and have no personal space at all.
You Complain, You’ve been stressful with your well-paid work and been distracting by your workplace environment.
You complain more and more…. etc
I wrote a post on Life Bonus which include Beauty, Smart, White, Rich. I said If you born with a white skin, born in a wealthy family, born with a smart brain, born with a beauty, then you born with a life bonus. I admitted that I born with no any bonus.
I born with no any bonus, at all– I born with a black skin, born in a poor family, born with a damn brain, born with no beauty. And it takes me years to learn how to appreciate what I have today.
Some people, even worse, born with even a negative credit. They didn’t do anything wrong, but they have to pay the debt. Debt here isn’t referring to money as you think. I refer to a disease, an incurable diseases.
Well, everyone wishes for a succeed life, they work so hard to get any big chances– get a good job, be an outstanding student, blah, blah, blah. Having been trying this hard, some may reach their goal, some may not.
But Then, One Day….
You get to know that you have an incurable diseases that completely block you life to move forward, block your mind to think further how your future looks like, block your soul to build your dreams. You no longer have a motivation to think of tomorrow because it may not come. The disease that steals everything you have, everything you try to build and earn expecting you have long way to enjoy your life. All of a sudden the life almost reach an end.
You feel how I feel after reading this, Right?
Today, I met a girl, 20-year-old or sth. She is my neighbor who remembers me quite well, she called my name, saying about this and that about childhood’s memories. She now can’t speak properly, can’t control her walk, her health gets worse from day to day. Only her mind can work quite well, and this is even sadder because her mind/heart/soul could reconize her life deadline, she could feel exactly how her pain is. She tried to be fine when everyone surround her knows she isn’t fine at all. Not having born in a rich family, she worked hard to be one among an outstanding student, she got a short exchange to Indonesia…Not having born in a rich family, now her sibling leave her alone at home as they need to go to work to secure the family expense. hmmm…. She doesn’t even have a right to complain about her life.
Then of course, the girl I met today is just exactly the same to Aya in One Liter of Tear.
“This disease, why did it choose me?
Oaksan, what is the purpose of living?
Whenever I think about the future, tear would be coming down.
Okasan, would I be able to get married?” — Written in Aya’s Diary.
“But she will start to walk unstable.
She may not able to measure the distance.
Or she may not be able to write properly.
Following this, she may not be able to speak properly.
Even the progress is slow, it will get worse day by day.” — The Doctor told Aya’s mother.
“It’s just a piece of shit,” I shout it out loud in the office.
This is rare! Never before!
I need a break….
A guy [specific one] is just not gentle enough to get a talk from me, I really mean it. I’m tiring to have such a person around for work reason.