Posted in ប្រចាំ​ថ្ងៃ

Interview Vs Expectation

Go for the interview at the Embassy Vs What my surrounding people expect from me:

ខ្ញុំ៖ ឯងដាក់ពាក្យទៅធ្វើការនៅស្ថានទូតហើយវើយ។

មិត្តភក្តិទី១៖ ច្បាស់អត់ថាចេះ ស្លៀតពាក់ឲ្យProfessional ដូចគេ ដូចឯង?

មិត្តភក្តិទី២៖ តិចលែងមានសេរីភាព ហើយលែងអាចធ្វើការ និងចេញចូលកន្លែងធ្វើការស្រេចចិត្ត ដូចពេលនេះ ហើយមិនអាចស្លៀកពាក់សេរីបានដូចមុន។ 2 – 0

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បងស្រី៖ ឯងទៅណាហ្នឹង?

ខ្ញុំ៖ ទៅសម្ភាសន៍ការងារថ្មី។

បងស្រី៖ អូ! ចាំមើលលែងបានដើរលេង! (3 – 0)

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ប្អូនស្រី៖ ទៅណាហ្នឹង?

ខ្ញុំ៖ ទៅសម្ភាសន៍។

ប្អូនស្រី៖ ចំ! ប្រភព (source)មួយណា អីក៏មានកិត្តិយសម៉េស អាចឲ្យបងស្រីអ្នកកាសែតខ្ញុំ ស្លៀកពាក់ស្រីទៅសម្ភាសន៍។ កាលពីទៅជួមសម្តេច (Prime Minsiter) លើកមុន ដូចមិនឃើញស្លៀកពាក់ដល់ថ្នាក់ហ្នឹងផង។

ខ្ញុំ៖ អញ ទៅឲ្យគេសម្ភាសន៍ -.- (4 – 0)

 

And no one doubts or cares if I’m qualified to the new job at all -.-

Posted in ប្រចាំ​ថ្ងៃ

“Fuck! I’ve done with you” I shout

I’m tired of comforting myself that it gonna be alright, persuading myself that his noise wouldn’t distract my inner peace, lying myself that the seem-to-be-impposible solution will come soon, and ignoring the fact that his performance is the only matter and would kill the good mood and productivity of everyone.

I feel myself weakening. The nightmares keep spinning around in my head: the dissatisfactions under his supervision, the unsettlement I believe the situation would be a lot better without ‘Him’ alone that everyone could be in peace, the regrets for years that I was trying to be like the dead fish allowing myself to go with the flow, the guilty feeling  I was trying to fake myself in order to fit in, and the arguments that were fighting in my head that my mouth couldn’t speak it out.

All of my instincts and desires– everything tells me to make peace and not to take any actions against him if I want to be in the safe zone. But I fight against them like a drowning person in riptide.

I finally formulate all the dissatisfactions, unsettlement, regrets, guilty, and arguments that have been ringing in my head all day, “Fuck! I’ve done with you.” I shout it out loud in the office.

I’m no longer fighting with him nor myself, Let’s him alone fight with his own insecurity, fear, and unconfident. M glad I have the courage to do what is right, and I don’t regret for that.